The Need for Good Touch is Hard-Wired
A lover’s kiss. A friend’s hugs. A pet’s snuggles. What do they all have in common?
New research published by the Zuckerman Institute, “Origins of Pleasurable Touch Traced from Skin to Brain in Mice,” shows that simple touches on skin travel to the brain’s pleasure centers. When living creatures feel what they identify as a good touch, it’s because their skin cells are communicating with the brain on a deep level, something we never knew before. (Yes, it’s “just” a mouse study — but there is plenty of adjacent research to show that this neural mechanism is fairly universal.)
If you have ever petted a cat or dog, of course, you already know that your little furry friend enjoys your touch and that it’s calming for you as well. It creates a mysterious bond. Well, not quite as mysterious now!
You were wired for touch, right down to your cells. When good touch (touching you like and welcome) happens, it opens a previously unknown pathway to the depths of your brain. The mechanism can be explained simply: your skin cells send chemical signals to your brain, which in turn tells your system to reward you with emotional pleasure.
This previously unknown chemical communication system is one of the secrets behind why even the simplest touches can relax us.
So what does this mean for you?
How the Pandemic Showed us the Importance of Touch
Let’s apply some of the basic concepts of this fascinating new research to your life.
COVID’s catastrophe of social isolation spurred profound loneliness among most of us. We were denied physical contact with friends, family, and society in general and, because of that, depression and anxiety became a universal side-effect of the pandemic.
According to a key author of the study,
“The pandemic made us all acutely aware of how devastating the lack of social and physical contact can be,” Dr. Elias said. “I think about the mental decline of the elderly in nursing homes who could not have typical contact with visitors.
In talking with various friends and acquaintances who quarantined, many said, “I just want to hug my friends/relatives again.” The majority of us felt that way. It intensified our loneliness to be denied opportunities for touch. You didn’t have to be in an old age home or hospital to feel down and depressed. It was a real thing that we literally experienced in our cells and brains.
Touch is what our bodies are wired for. Without the ability to give or receive physical affection, whether it was our kids or our friends, we felt lonelier than we ever felt before.
Touch Is Vital to Emotional Health
By learning about the science behind it, we can harness this knowledge to improve our quality of life.
Touch-Based Therapy
Since touch was shown to lower stress, anxiety, and depression, researchers believe it could be developed into a therapeutic treatment for anyone suffering from those issues. I’ve observed that my therapy clients often react strongly to a goodbye hug. Some have said “I really needed that” and now I see that, well, naturally they did, more than either of us realized. The research implies as much. The hug was uplifting.
Good Touch at Home
Intimate partners are perhaps our most important source of feel-good touches. In fact, researchers noted that some rodents got a bit turned on by gentle caresses. If you’ve ever wondered how human sex lives “go dead,” I see a connection here. It could be about the absence of touching.
A common complaint among unhappily married women is that their partners only touch them in bed. I can’t help but wonder if a greater quantity and higher quality of affectionate touches in non-sexual situations would boost their interest in sexual intimacy with their partner. In other words, an absence of touching outside of sexual situations may be hurting their interest in sexual situations.
Worse, if your partner is too rough with you, your cells may not desire any kind of touching. Instead of communicating pleasure, your body chemistry may start to associate your partner’s touch with panic or disgust.
Future Benefits of Touch
Researchers predict that their work will lead to better tools and treatments for neurodiverse people — specifically autistic folks — who are touch-adverse. Neurologists may be able to use such research to discover new treatments to help autistic people experience the pleasure of touch and reap the whole-body benefits of touch that neurotypicals experience.
Sexologically speaking, it raises a new question. Are some forms of sexual dysfunction the product of a body that hasn’t gotten enough positive touch? After all, if good touch carries the power to improve mental well-being, it stands to reason that no touching or bad touching does the reverse. Accordingly, this implies that as a sex therapist, I could restore a patient’s psycho-sexual health by working with them on positive touches and acts of affection with their loved ones.
The Vital Importance of Touch in Our Lives
Touch is life. For you, for me, for everyone, including our pets, our elders, and our friends.
Now that we know it is an innate feature of our bodies, we need to use that information to our benefit. Touch is a meaningful part of life. It isn’t some nebulous emotional urge. It is a biological need that translates into a social mandate: we need touching to light up our minds and fill us with comfort and hope.
Try something for me, and let me know how it works for you. Try upping your touching game. Let handshakes be warm and make them last more than a quick second. Make time to give your pets more cuddles. Place an affectionate hand on an elder in your family. Sit closer to your closest peeps and let your knees or arms touch. Make sure to give your kids extra hugs and reward them with a pat on the shoulder or head whenever they do good. Touch and hug your partner more, and ask them to do the same for you.
Try this for a week and then reflect. Did you have a better week than usual? Do you feel a little happier? Are you calmer? Do the people or animals you touch seem to relax more around you? Is your partner more revved up for erotic play?
We are alive, therefore we must touch. It’s not just good for you, it’s vital to your emotional well-being.
