If you caught someone talking to your best friend the way you talk to yourself, would you let them get away with it?
It’s a question worth asking, because in order to set ourselves free to experience joy in our lives it’s necessary to build a supportive friendship with ourselves.
Learning to be our own best friend isn’t easy but the results are worth it. People with a positive attitude heal faster, live longer and report greater satisfaction with life. If we weren’t raised with a positive attitude, self-care is how we build it from the ground up.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is a daily process that builds a sense of well-being inside ourselves. Self-care rituals can include daily affirmations, cognitive exercises to reduce stress, and body care. The effects of these practices is to tell your brain that it can relax and take joy in being alive. When you care for your body, you’re also caring for your brain.
How Do You Practice Self-Compassion?
How do you treat your bestie? Do you make time to listen to their woes and sympathize with their feelings? Do you stand up for them and let them know you care?
Do that. Only for yourself. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid. Listen to your heart. Be loyal to yourself. Don’t be fast to judge or put yourself down. Tell yourself that you are the most important person you have to please. Because you are.
Maybe you’ve made mistakes. Maybe even big ones. Welcome to humanity, darling. We all do. Every single successful person you ever met has made some embarrassingly bad mistakes in their life.
Try These Self-Care Rituals
Here are two exercises that can build a positive attitude. If they’re not for you, try some others till you find your perfect blend.
Write a letter to someone you love
An instant picker-upper is to sit down and write a fond letter to someone you really care about. It can be a parent, a friend, a child, or your beloved pet.
- Thank them for all the goodness they bring into your life
- Reminisce about a fun time you had together
- Tell them the loving things you’d want them to know if you might never see them again
You don’t have to send it to them. Your cat can’t read. You’re writing this for yourself.
The Lesson: It’s a gratitude thing, so go ahead and notice how you feel the positive emotions flow through you. Let down your guard and open your heart. Remind yourself that you’re connected to someone. As you write, watch how quickly the stress evaporates!
Treat yourself to a bath
If you thought I was going to suggest using orgasms to lower stress, well, you’re right. Nothing beats stress like sexual release. But there is more to body pleasure than the ultimate pleasure. You may define “pleasant” your own way but here are a few things you can do at home tonight
- Take a lovely bath and make it special with scented soaps or oils
- Those candles and incense you’ve been saving for a special occasion? This is it. You are the special occasion
- Caress your body. Easy to do in a bathtub. Slide your hands over what’s within reach, caress yourself, and enjoy all the tingling and warm sensations of being alive
The lesson: Love your body as you love yourself. Because your body is yourself. You’re not a little crane operator sitting in your head. Find rituals of body care to connect with your body, reduce stress and let you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Why do we do these things?
This isn’t just about a momentary feel-good, though there’s nothing wrong with that.
The science is complicated but the concept is easy to boil down: when we take good care of ourselves, our body signals the brain that we’re happy to be alive. In return, our brains pump out chemicals that enhance our joy in life.
By practicing some form of self-care daily, we are training ourselves, through our actions, to believe in our own self-worth. We’re building positive self-esteem – from the ground up. We can build your self-esteem with words, or we can build it with actions. Which do you think is more powerful?
all images used under Pixabay License
