How Can You Find Sexual Freedom?
There are a lot of paths to freeing up your sexuality but perhaps the most powerful choice anyone can make is to talk through their personal — and sexual — history with a non judgemental listener.
It’s a healing thing. When you articulate the truth about your life, you force your brain to think about your life. Until you can put your thoughts, memories, and feeling into words, they exist as an inarticulate nagging burden hidden behind a wall of anxiety.
Putting Feelings Into Words Is the Process
Nothing seems to relieve a heavy human heart as well as an earnest, deep conversation about the things that haunt us. Haunt us so much they weigh down our daily life — we lose sleep, our work performance drags, sex is not as good as we want it to be.
A good therapist will steer you gently to explore and re-examine your beliefs and your behaviors, As you find the words to describe your feelings about experiences, your brain flexes to analyze what you’re saying. You can hear yourself say things you’ve never admitted before. Once you do that, they take on a new perspective. It’s a moment of awakening. Awakening can hurt! But after the pain comes healing and a healthier brain.
You finally said THE THING. The thing that has been stressing you out. You know the thing: it’s that thing you were afraid would upset the applecart of your life.
Your authentic voice gets louder over time, while the muttering demons that may have been haunting you grow quieter and more manageable. Now your brain is working with you instead of against you.
Speaking Your Truth Sets You Free
Many of the people I see have never told another person the truth about their sex life. Whether it’s a past traumatic event they have tried to forget or dysfunction in their sex life today, they keep it bottled up. And then they get stress disorders.
They’re too embarrassed to tell their friends. They are uncomfortable talking about sex with a psychologist who isn’t kink-friendly or trained in sex. They hide it from their family. Sometimes they hide it from their spouses and face negative consequences, like not feeling fully understood, not getting the kind of touch they need, not getting the intimacy they really want.
Toys, techniques, and self-help guides aren’t replacements. Speaking your truth is what can turn your life around.
As long as you are hiding your truth from others, you are battling with your truth inside. Let your voice be heard. There are people who will listen, sympathize, empathize, and help you on your journey to a freer life. Tell someone your true story.
