I’ve been feeling a lot more optimistic about life in general since the Inauguration of Biden/Harris. My heart is always with the hard-working optimists out there who persist and make a positive difference in human life. Two executive decisions touched my heart right away: Biden making a science advisor a member of his cabinet, and his executive order granting LGBTQIA+ people their right to equality and non-discrimination. And progress on human rights issues and evidence-based medicine keep coming. For obvious reasons, advocating for science and supporting sexual freedom and human equality are key issues for me in EVERY election. After four years of watching the US rollback on human rights at every level, I enjoy reading the news right now.
So let me tell you about my life this past year and three pillars of sanity that kept me going. In January 2020 I read about a dangerous virus springing up in China. Then WHO issued warnings of a global pandemic. Being old and wise (or old and chickenshit, if you prefer), I began staying home and social distancing in February of 2020. It’s paid off for my family. Between restricting travel, routine use of masks, and social distancing, we’ve stayed healthy. Bonus! Petunia has been unabashedly delighted by our constant presence.
proof that Petunia is pro-quarantine
Because of COVID19, I’ve put a long pause on the BED (Brame Educators’ Directory) project. Who will we be — and how will we want to do our future BDSM education — after this disruption? Even after the vaccine, we’ll still need to take some precautions. I’ve been attending a number of ZOOM BDSM events and workshops for the last year, sometimes just to sit in, sometimes as a presenter. I’ve been a strong proponent of learning to educate in virtual spaces for the sake of reaching out to people in other states and countries and to make meetings accessible to elders, disabled people, and anyone in a minority community who may not feel comfortable in a physical space. Will virtual ed continue after the pandemic? Will they ever draw the kinds of crowds we saw at 3D events of yore? Indeed, will future live meets compare to pre-COVID 3D events? We won’t know what kinky education or BDSM parties will look like two years from now until we get there. Whatever happens, BED will continue to provide the leadership and tools you need to be the best BDSM educator possible. BED’s VIRTUAL LIBRARY is stocked with thousands of free goodies for you.
I feel I have changed with the times. Have you? I feel a little more serious and a lot more focused on priorities. The jolly home companionship has been a silver lining during the pandemic. Sitting outside in a garden in the woods didn’t hurt either.
Pillar of Sanity One: Demonstrating that therapy can be therapeutic for a therapist: my practice saw a huge surge among people stuck at home and aching to work on unresolved issues. Tiring, yes, but the challenges of helping people fight for their personal truths kept my energies on high! Take away: helping others is hard but spiritually rewarding work.
Pillar of Sanity Two: Novel-writing took me away from a failing government and sorrowful planet into worlds I could control. The first effort, Champions of Pleasure, was an exciting return to creative writing. (For those who don’t know, I started out in my 20s as a poet, then published fiction, and didn’t get to non-fiction until writing Different Loving). During quarantine, my body needed an even bigger dose of creative high that writing brings so I started working on the second novel in February and steamrolled through 450 pages, the longest book I’ve written since DL! At the publisher’s now, Amazon Hammer follows a Dominant Woman for 20 thrillingly disinhibited years of BDSM life. Take away: find a hobby or practice or habit that empowers you and keep doing it until you are pleased with the results.
I hope you are hanging tough and that if you need support, you have found ways to reach out and communicate with loved ones. Which leads me to
Pillar of Sanity Three: Social media has become life and I’m okay with that. I’ve fallen in love with my FaceBook friends, struck up new friendships with followers and clients, and have attended more conferences and classes than since I was an English professor. I want to believe that 2021 will be a turn-around year for us all, but I remind myself that the only worlds I really control are in my books, so I will be patient and stay focused on the next project, and the next one after that, and continue to maintain an active virtual life, maybe even a larger one than before. Take away: control what you can and don’t let yourself get triggered by things you can’t control.
Stay healthy, know that I’m thinking of you. I’ll be back very soon. It’s a new year and I want to do some new things.
love,
Gloria
