Shame is So 20th Century
Do you believe reproductive sex is the only ethical reason to have sex? If not, then you shouldn’t believe people are perverse for enjoying intimacy for pleasure and joy. Yes, it really is that simple.
Do you accept that sex is positive and normal when adults have fun and feel good about their choices? If so, it doesn’t matter whether their sex includes anal eroticism, bondage, spanking, orgasmic breathing, or any other sensual variations. All of these behaviors have brought pleasure to our ancestors since the beginning of time. Moreover, the ancients made art about it and wrote poetry about bedroom pleasures that people still demonize today.
We Are Stuck in the Past
Political and religious forces spearheaded hair-raising periods of repression during the 19th and 20th centuries. However, nothing was ever wrong with you or other adults for enjoying fantasy sex, sex with toys, creative sex, sex with multiple people, or any other type of sex that brought pleasure and emotional relief. People are diverse!
Something may be wrong with you today if you believe you’re a bad person for enjoying non-conventional sex. You have a real problem if you still feel shame about everyday expressions of adult sexuality. Why? Because you defeat yourself! You force yourself to deny your authentic needs. Additionally, you don’t understand a simple truth: as long as all partners have a happy time and their sex lives are consensual and freely chosen, they live life to the fullest by being true to themselves. Meanwhile, there you are, smothered and silenced by repression’s baggage.
Yes, you need help. You deserve comfort and affirmation. Ultimately, you deserve to lead a moral, consenting life with moral, consenting partners, doing all the kink you want!
Want Proof Your Shame is Manufactured? Look at History
Nothing about our origins is secret. Indeed, people like us have always existed. We always loved primality in sex. Similarly, we enjoyed playing erotic roles of every possible variety, along with sensation play, impact play, teasing, and tying our lovers. Throughout human history, people have engaged in whippings, bondage, body modification, and power relationships.
Ancient Rome displayed the famous Villa of Mysteries frescoes prominently in the homes of the wealthy. Notably, these lavish and ritualistic flagellation scenes weren’t hidden or shameful. Instead, Romans celebrated them as part of spiritual practice. Similarly, the Indian text Kama Sutra, written around 400 BCE-200 CE, included detailed instructions on consensual scratching, biting, slapping, and other erotic practices. Furthermore, it featured complete discussions of consent and mutual enjoyment. Meanwhile, in the Pacific islands, people openly celebrated the 3,000-year-old tradition of tatau. Consequently, heavily tattooed bodies served as markers of status, family lineage, and personal achievements.
What we call kink or “alternative sex” today has existed as long as humanity itself. These weren’t isolated practices or underground movements. Ancient cultures wove them into religious rituals, artistic expression, and social traditions. This article in Glamour investigated the hot topic of whether there may be genetic components to kink. Some people may be biologically predisposed to sensation-seeking and alternative sexual interests, though environment and experience also play crucial roles. As one researcher put it: “Nature loads the gun and nurture pulls the trigger.”
Why We’re Still Carrying This Baggage
If shame about sexuality is historically manufactured, why do so many of us still carry it? Put simply, religious and political authorities deliberately taught us to feel ashamed of desires that cultures once celebrated.
These same authorities began systematically demonizing non-reproductive sexuality. Indeed, they found sexual control to be an effective tool of social control. After all, what better way to keep people compliant than to make them feel broken and sinful for their most intimate desires?
This manufactured shame has become pervasive. We can’t even research our own sexual history without encountering censorship. Ironically, the same society that tells you to feel ashamed has made it nearly impossible to access the historical evidence that would free you from that shame.
Reclaim Your Authentic Self
The global community of people exploring alternative sexuality now numbers in the tens of millions worldwide. Clearly, we can’t afford to stay trapped by yesterday’s manufactured limitations.
Stop shaming yourself over interests that are fundamentally human. Furthermore, stop accepting others’ definitions of what’s “normal.” The historical record shows these practices have been normal for millennia. Therefore, focus on the evidence: mutually consensual adult sexuality in all its forms is natural, healthy, and worthy of celebration.
Ultimately, your sexuality is about refusing to surrender your autonomy to external authorities. It is about pursuing the authentic pleasure that brings you joy. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are SUPPOSED TO BE. Remember, there is no “one way” to live your inner desires, your authentic delights, or your private life.
After all, the real perversion is letting others dictate your most private and sacred needs.
Banner photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@krakenimages
