You are the reason I talk about sex, write about sex, and do sex therapy. It has bothered me since my youth that so many people seemed unable to talk about their sex life without shame, embarrassment, or disgust.
Or, as I might’ve put it then, “Why are people so weird about sex?!”
These days, we have hundreds, perhaps thousands of studies across the sciences showing why sex is vital to our health and emotional well-being. That’s why your sex life deserves to be wonderful for you. People with good sex lives live longer, stronger, and happier lives. I want that for everyone because sex is truly like free medicine to the human body.
Why The Brain and Body Crave Sex
BONDING AND ECSTASY
Sex connects you to other people. The chemicals flooding your brain and body during arousal and orgasm create attachment. Research shows this “sexual afterglow“ lasts up to 48 hours after you have sex. That lingering satisfaction keeps couples bonded between sexual encounters.
It also predicts how happy you’ll be in your relationship months later. The effect works the same whether you’re 25 or 65, male or female. When you have satisfying sex with someone, your body’s chemistry promotes bonding that makes you want more closeness with that person
PHYSICAL HEALTH
Sex gets your blood pumping and your circulation moving. Your heart rate goes up, blood flows to places that need it, and your whole cardiovascular system gets a workout. Sexual arousal is a cardiovascular event — blood rushing where it needs to go. Sex is heart-healthy!
People who maintain regular sexual activity — solo or partnered — show better heart health and circulation over time. The effort involved is real but manageable, like walking up a couple of flights of stairs.
Sex and especially orgasms release endorphins that work like natural painkillers. From migraines to arthritic aches, sex smooths the discomforts of life.
MENTAL HEALTH
Sexual satisfaction protects you from depression. A major 2025 study tracking almost 16,000 Americans found that people having sex once or twice a week had significantly lower depression rates than people with little or no sexual activity.
Such mood boosts aren’t just psychological. The chemical reactions during sex directly combat depressive symptoms — endorphins lift your mood, dopamine motivates you, and your stress hormones drop. We have also recently learned about the importance of touch in human happiness. Since sex is all about touching, and holding, and caressing (and a million other sensations), sex is the ultimate feel-good body experience.
IMMUNE FUNCTION
There is no guarantee you can hack this, but we already know that your immune system responds to sexual activity. Research on women has shown that sexually active women produce more immunoglobulin A, the antibody that fights off infections at vulnerable spots. Women having sex 1-2 times a week had higher levels of this protective antibody than women who weren’t sexually active. Sex also triggers changes in the white blood cells that coordinate your body’s defense against illness.
So yes, do it for your immune system, darlings!
Get Out Your Tissues and a Journal
So, how is your sex life? Is it the same as it was last year or 5 years ago? Was there a time when it was much better — or much worse? How has it changed?
If you’re up for it, any time is a good time to start an intimacy journal. The topic is up to you — a new crush to moon over, an old dissatisfaction you want to resolve, a chronicle of your past vs. current sex life, fantasies you’re exploring, or simply tracking what brings you pleasure.
Your journal doesn’t have to be all writing; you can paste in pictures, inspiring quotes, and more, so it becomes more like a scrapbook than a diary.
Try journaling at least once every three days. Try to read your entries and imagine you are reading about someone else’s life. What would you tell them?
Don’t be surprised if patterns emerge, insights surface, and you learn something new about your desires. Have fun!
Photo credit: Jill Wellington @ Pixabay
