Today, I’m sharing the final installment of the Fetish series I ran from May to June. Below, I’ve recapped the takeaways in each of the 10 blogs I posted on Fetishism, so the chief points stay clear in your mind.
Once a college professor, always a college professor, I guess. 🙂 Don’t worry. No homework.
The Fetish Blog Series
Fetish 101: What Is a Fetish and Who Has One?
Fetishes are among the most common features of adult erotic life.
Fetish 102: The Data That Normalizes Fetish Desires
Landmark studies show that atypical sexual interests are statistically typical.
Fetish 103: How Fetishes Develop Throughout Life
My “Seven Stages of Fetish Development” maps the erotic arc most fetishists share, from early childhood fascination through full adult maturity.
Fetish 104: Not Choice, Just Mother Nature
No one chooses their fetish. It is as fundamental to identity as a fingerprint.
Fetish 105: If It’s Not Broke, Don’t Try to Fix It
A detailed case study of Billy, a man with an AB/DL fetish who was misdiagnosed as a pedophile.
Fetish 106: The Incredible Diversity of Imagination
Fetishism is far more diverse than most people imagine.
Fetish 107: What Shame Does to You
Fetish shame is the true pathology.
Fetish 108: Navigating Marriage
Fetishism doesn’t destroy marriages. People do.
Fetish 109: A Global Tour of BDSM/Fetish Communities
An infographic documenting BDSM and fetish communities around the world.
Fetish 110: My Origin Story
I believe I was born to be who I am.
The Big Fetish Picture
Fetishism is not a disorder, a defect, or a deviation from human nature. It is human nature. The data have spoken, and both history and clinical observation back that up.
Fetishists often love their fetishes because the acts soothe them, fulfill them, feed their souls, and lift them up. What causes suffering is not the desire itself. It is the shame imposed by a culture that still hasn’t caught up with science.
This is exactly how pioneering psychiatrists finally voted to depathologize gay sex: they had learned that gay men were at peace with their orientation. If they were unhappy, it wasn’t because they were gay but because cultural institutions demonized and pathologized them.
Fetishism, BDSM, and all other nonconformative sex have also been treated as if they were mental illnesses. My work’s mission has always emphasized evidence above theory, and compassion for all.
Fetish Book Project
I will be traveling from the end of June to mid-July. This blog will be on hiatus during that time.
When I get back, I will be locking up the 10-part blog series to focus on turning the 10 blogs into a 10-chapter book. Each blog will be expanded with more in-depth discussion and exploration of fetish expression. You can also expect to see many more case studies, including a few extreme (but non-violent and all consensual) fetishes.
This is all part of my bigger plan for the Pleasure Literacy Emporium: that within the pages of the books you purchase, I can address genuinely adult topics in adult language, without the constant threat of censorship.
Think of it as a 33-year update on Different Loving’s fetish section, now backed by three decades of evidence-based science.
photo credit: Seema Miah on Unsplash
