A fascinating study from Portugal affirms theories I proposed in 2010. It’s nice vindication for me, but not good news about women’s sexual health. The study reveals a stunning gap in women’s sexual self-knowledge.
Not Your Body = Not Yourself
469 women participated in the study. 74% of them scored in the low-to-average range on basic genital anatomy. Most of the women had no idea that the clitoris is an internal structure, and almost half of them had no idea of its size. As is commonly but wrongly imagined, the clit is not just an external feature, no more than a penis: both organs are rooted in body cavities.
The study noted that women who have explored their sex organs not only have a better grasp of how those organs function, but they are also likely to masturbate more than other women. Their knowledge of their own sexual potentials and basic understanding of how to give themselves pleasure leads to the pursuit of partners in adulthood. They tend to also have more sex than women who are less self-educated about their sex organs.
In 2011, when I published “Sex and the Self,” I explained that masturbation functions as a basic building block of sexual development in both females and males. Through rudimentary “tests” of what feels good and what doesn’t, people learn the types of stimulation they will enjoy as adults. Although solo sex doesn’t teach you necessarily how to please another, it does help you learn how to have an orgasm. For young men, it can be crucial to their ability to hold back orgasms and last longer. For women, it teaches them how to navigate a complex biological anatomy and discover ecstasy. A woman who knows what she likes can then communicate to her partner what she needs.
The study is a wonderful, evidence-based look into REAL sex. Perhaps you thought purity and punishment for masturbation were good for a kid. The science disagrees.
More Evidence For Sex-Positive Parenting
Consider another compelling piece of data identified by the researchers. Women who masturbated more as girls than the other participants also had more orgasms during vaginal penetration with partners as adults. Of course! They were relaxed. They were comfortable being touched between the legs. Makes total sense to a sex therapist. They had fewer negative associations than those who felt it was wrong or dirty to touch.
Body exploration is a natural instinct in humans. Although thousands of quacks have tried to “cure” masturbation, it’s a feature, not a flaw, in human biology. It’s like telling people, “Just don’t poop, and you’ll be fine.”
Masturbation is not abnormal; it is the norm for people of all ages, right up to their 90s for some. You learn from playing around with different erotic sensations. It expands your curiosity and provides new insights into your body and your mind. This is how the brain encourages the nervous system, the cardiovascular system, and the genital organs to work in harmony, producing a more relaxed, confident, and mature adult.
He’s Not Your Boyfriend, He’s Your Toyfriend
No surprise that the study also showed, if adult women can’t find satisfaction from partnered sex, solo sex will become their go-to. This, of course, raises the possibility that they will find solo sex to be less complicated, free of risk, and more likely to produce orgasms. In my experience as a sex therapist, I know, however, that as much as people love their toys, it is the rare woman who doesn’t also crave physical intimacy with a partner.
Think about growing up, never knowing what your own body looks like in certain places. Imagine not understanding that your genital structure is really a work of art — and by the way, that when you look at male and female anatomy medical drawings, you see amazing resemblances you didn’t know existed. See the picture on top of this blog? That’s not a tiny penis with big testicles: that’s all the women in the world right there.
The researchers conclude that comprehensive sex education should include anatomy and pleasure, not just reproduction. Promoting positive genital self-image could improve sexual well-being across the lifespan. I say follow the facts, and be sexually healthy!
If you want to read the full study, visit “Ménage À Moi: An Analysis of Factors Associated with Masturbation Among Women,” by Henriques, Costa, and Carvalheira in the International Journal of Sexual Health. https://www.psypost.org/new-study-explores-factors-linked-to-womens-masturbation-habits/
Pick up your copy of SEX AND THE SELF, for the shocking history of masturbation and the quacks who tried (and magnificently failed) to cure it, and learn why self-pleasure is a beneficial building block for successful adult relationships!
Image Credits: medical diagram via Autisticeditor 20, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Clitoral_diagram.jpg
