Infantilism is a deep-seated psychological need that arises usually at a very early age, possibly [for two reasons]. One is that [infantilists have] the feeling of not getting loved enough when they're very young; [the other is] not being able to express the softer sides of themselves. [Infantilism] becomes a very strong drive, so strong that there's no way of getting rid of it. [But] there's no reason to get rid of it, because it is not harmful. It lets a person fantasize and/or share with other people--lovers, spouses, friends. They have a lot of fun doing it, and they're not hurting anybody. It usually causes a wonderful, erotic sensation.

There's a psychological theory that if you didn't complete all of the [childhood] stages, there's a deficit [that] you never fully outgrow. You're always trying to fill it. The causes of not being understood for the person you are--basically the definition of a dysfunctional family--[has many] other results. People become drug addicts or alcoholics; they become very unhappy. I think that infantilism, though it may sound strange or weird to a lot of people, is probably the least harmful way [of coping as long as you don't] let it dominate your life. If you can put it in a place where you use it to help you feel good about yourself, get some happiness and satisfaction, and [if] it doesn't interfere with your ability to function in your job, with your spouse, with your children, then it's a satisfactory way of meeting a psychological need.

The Diaper Pail Fraternity was founded in 1980. Being an infantilist and having made some friends through [personal ads], I decided to form a little newsletter. [What] started out as a newsletter shared by a few friends continued to grow over the years. [Today] it's got over 2000 members. I [should] qualify: not all members are current. At any [given] time there are about 1000 actively listed members, and 1000 temporarily inactive members. We're about two-thirds straight and one-third gay. [This is] a little heavier than the average on gay, because we were originally a gay organization.

Upwards of 95% [of our members] are male. This is gradually changing. We're beginning to attract more and more women. Because of the [limited] number of women we have at the present time, it's hard to be sure [why women are attracted to DPF]. They appear to be primarily infantilists themselves. A [fair percentage] of the dominant women that we're getting are professional; a few are the wives of infantilists. One thing I do see is that, because of [increasing publicity and education, male and female] infantilists are beginning to come out of the closet and to know that there are others. And if they meet there's a chance of forming a relationship. We have that happen. [Members] get married, find lovers.

Besides the newsletter, [DPF] tries to distribute, manufacture--or have others [manufacture]--things of interest to the members [such as] stories, video tapes, audio tapes, [or] resource directories [to] locate products. We [also] have an extensive list of products for infantilists, [such as] adult-sized diapers, plastic pants, [and] baby clothes. One of the major purposes of the newsletter is for people to meet each other. Infantilism is relatively unknown, and a lot of people, before they find [us], think they're the only ones in the world. One of [our] main [featuress] is the roster; [members] list themselves, with or without a phone number but with an address. [This way] they can [contact] each other.

I have 144 [people who I track in a database]. I'm pretty sure this [is] representative. [13% report an interest in S&M]. Some people have the strange fantasy [that] if they wet their diaper, they're spanked because they were naughty--but that's what a baby should do: [49% gave a general interest in] punishment and discipline. 49 people [or 34% are interested] in enemas. [26% like] crossdressing: [the] crossdressers [are] primarily straight people. Spankers [make up 48%]. We also have [29%] who like a little bondage--being tied to a crib so you can't get out or having a pacifier tied into your mouth.

The great majority of [members] want to take the baby or child role. If they really feel free and start making friends, then they're going to have to [be daddies], because there aren't that many dominant women in the club. So they will switch and diaper each other at different times. It's a trade-off: somebody's sacrificing a bit, but [he's] doing it because [he] knows [he will] get something in return. The great majority of the heterosexuals--probably 90%--want to be the baby. They have a tough time, because there are so few mommies. [For the] homosexuals, it's a little easier, because approximately one- third of the homosexual members say that they will be dominant at times. [And] 15%-20% are primarily dominant [and] like being the daddy.

The biggest social challenges [infantilists face are], first, that they're hidden. Those still in the closet are very unhappy people; they don't know that there are others out there. They think that they're really crazy. The majority of them aren't [so] unhappy that they're [suicidal], but they're [thrilled] when they find out that there are other people. A fairly good portion of [married men are] afraid to tell their wives. Or they've brought the subject up and [were] rejected. Most of the letters I get are from people who have problems. [They] try to tell their wife, and [she] can't deal with it [and] makes comments like, "I married a man, not a baby." [Second], they feel that nobody understands them. They [are] afraid that the general public will think that they want to involve children [and are] pedophiles. Many people are afraid to use their real names when they list in the roster, because they [fear] that somehow they'll be found out--that [coworkers] will find out that they wear diapers at home. This [would] be a terrible, humiliating, or even threatening thing; [they worry] they might lose their job.

I'm happy about the potential of [this] book, because it offers the opportunity for people to learn about infantilism--which [I hope] will lead to more understanding--[but also because] it'll be read by infantilists who'll realize that there are others out there. That satisfaction and that happiness--[the lifting of that psychological] weight off somebody--is worth so much! It's impossible to calculate [its] value.